This Is How It Feels
by thegirlwithredshoes
Summary: Entry for Moonlightstudio's Lyrical Contest.AU/AH/One-shot. Edward and Bella were College roommates that broke-up after Grad. A year later Edward decides he wants Bella back. But with Bella being the stubborn girl she is it may not be so easy. ExB Review!


**Disclaimer – I do not nor ever will own twilight or the characters- But a girl can dream. =)  
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**A/N – This is an entry for Moonlightstudio's Lyrical Contest.  
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Penname: Fictionlover1124

**Story name: This Is How It Feels  
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**Pairing: Edward and Bella**

**Song: This Is How It Feels by The Veronica's  
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**Main lyric: **

_This is how it feels_

_When you wait for a call that never comes_

_Are you waking up 'cause you miss someone?_

_This is how it feels_

_When the trust you had is broken,_

_And your left to burn with your heart wide open_

**Word count: 4,790**

**BPOV:**

I was sitting in the middle of Starbucks when my phone rung for the millionth time this week. I didn't have to look down at the Caller ID to know who it was. It was the same person who had been calling for two months straight. The same person who didn't have the balls to leave a message. The same person who had practically been stalking me all month. And the same person who just decided to want me _after_ I was gone. To want me _after _I let them go. But sadly, it was the one person I wanted to hear from. Yet, I was being stubborn, I was being me. I wouldn't pick up the phone, because it would just lead to a conversation were I was the villain, and I didn't do anything. The hard part about dating your best friend? When you break up, you've got no one to run to. My life at the moment reminded me of 'When Harry Met Sally'...without the happy ending. Ten seconds after the phone went out, it rang again.

"Edward?" Alice asked, although it was more of a statement.

"Yep, I think he's going for a new record. He's rung 15 times today already, and it's only eleven o'clock." I replied sarcastically pressing ignore.

"Are you ever going to pick it up?" She asked sincerely.

"Not a chance. I need more coffee, want some?" I asked as I jumped out of my seat.

"Nope, and you're not getting any either." Alice said gabbing my arm, "Anymore and you'll be in a caffeine induced coma." Alice explained, like she was talking to a five year old.

"I don't like the way you talk to me. It's like you appreciate me being tired. I need caffeine!" I yelled

"No you need sleep!" Alice shouted. When she realised everyone was looking she quietened, "Speaking off, when was the last time you had some?"

"Umm, if you don't count falling asleep in my lecture, two weeks ago." I sighed.

"How do you manage to stay up?" Alice exclaimed.

"I'm a vampire." I joked.

"Seriously." Alice frowned.

"I stick toothpicks in my eyes." I stated sarcastically, "You know I can't sleep when I'm stressed. Oh by the way, want a cake, my fridge is getting full."

"Bella." Alice chastised.

"What? I bake when I'm stressed to." I said.

"Bella, go home, get some sleep. I'll cover for you, and I'll send someone over to make sure you're sleeping." She gave me a very stern look-it was like the one your mum gives you when she wants you to do something, or get something out of you, It was similar to the one they give when they know you're lying-and it was really creepy

"Yes mam." I saluted.

"GO!" She shouted pointing to the door.

I sighed, trudged my way to the door, and started walking home. I wonder who Alice would send? Knowing her it wouldn't be good whoever it was.

**EPOV:**

_Call her...Call her...Call her_; my brain was chanting again and again and again. No matter how hard I tried to get those two words out it just wouldn't happen. They haunted my everywhere, in my house in the mall, even in the bar. I couldn't even drink without thinking about _her_.

"Edward..EDWARD!" A voice said in the background.

"What?" I asked coming back from my thinking.

"Edward man, you're so out of it lately, what is up?" Emmett asked, yelling over the music.

"Nothing, I'll be right back." I shouted back and walked outside.

I pressed the very familiar numbers, that was Bella's mobile and pressed green. _You can do this, even if she doesn't pick up you can leave a message_; my sub-conscious said.

"I can do this." I whispered, giving myself a very lame pep-talk.

The phone rang..and rang..and rang..and rang out.

_Hi you've reach Bella, I'm either busy or don't feel like talking to you so leave a message._

I hung up quickly before, I heard the beep.

_You pussy_; My subconscious yelled.

"Shut up." I whispered back.

"Edward, I see you're finally going crazy." Jasper laughed.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yer well if it were that serious, you'd be able to leave a message." He retorted, "Alice wants me to look after Bella." He watch me carefully looking for something.

"Well, have fun with that." I said trying to seem casual, "I'm going back inside."

"I have to make sure she sleeps. Apparently she hasn't had a wink of it for two weeks or something." He shrugged.

"Really?"

"Ha, got you. So are you coming?" He asked.

"What!" I screamed.

"You know her so much better than you do. You two are both stubborn as mules, but you and I both know for a fact that she won't sleep unless she gets closure." He said smirking.

"Don't think you've got me Jasper, I'm not coming." I replied. I would call her but I wouldn't go to her house.

"She has made fourteen cakes." Jasper smiled, "What does it mean."

"It means you're right, she bakes when she can't sleep. When Charlie passed away Bella, Alice and Rosalie all had full fridges...and full cupboards."

"Alice said you would know." He nodded.

"Alice?" I asked incredulous.

"She may be comforting Bella, but she's rooting for you." He said. Jasper stared at me for a minute with a knowing look. "So, you coming...or not?"

"What about Emmett?" I asked.

"He'll find a hot girl." Jasper reasoned.

"I'm coming." I sighed. I was so going to regret this later.

**BPOV:**

_knock knock_

Shit! Alice wasn't kidding when she said someone was coming. I wiped my hands on my apron and walked to the door.

"Who is it?" I asked, hesitantly.

"It's Jasper." Came his muffled voice. "I'm here as guidance."

"Why do you have to come in, I'm perfectly fine." I said.

"This is a mission of piece little lady. You can trust me, I'm southern."

"Okay." I laughed. "But if she set something up, I'll kick you're southern ass."

I unlocked the door and opened the latch and the door swung open.

"I may be a cowboy, but I know how to fight." He said looking around. "You starting a bakery or something. Either that or a brothel."

"Ha Ha, funny. Have a seat." I said motioning towards the couch. "So let's get to the point. You explain, I'll listen."

"I think I'll just sit, wouldn't want to get my southern ass kicked." He smirked.

"I'm watching you Whitlock."

_knock knock_

"Maybe it is a brothel." I joked and walked to the door. I opened it without hesitation and immediately wished I hadn't. I slammed it shut straight away and hoped it hit his face.

"I changed my mind, I'm kicking your southern balls." I hissed

"Bella, please listen." He begged, only it wasn't Jasper's voice.

"NO!" I screamed.

"C'mon Bella, please."

"No. Leave and never come back. I don't have time for you anymore." I screamed.

"Bella, hush girl." Jasper said trying to comfort me. "Edward just go." He said with authority.

There was no reply at the other end of the door, just the shuffling of feet and the revving of an engine.

"C'mon Bella, you're sleeping, whether you like it or not."

I didn't hesitate, I just ran into my bedroom top speed.

* * *

My last week had been stressful, but I made it a vow to make sure this week was a good one. I had decided I needed to start running again, loose some of my energy, hence making me sleep better. With the amount of coffee I was drinking it seemed a really good idea. So this morning I had gotten up at six, jammed my headphone in my ears turn my I-pod up as loud as it could go and ran. right know it was seven o'clock and I was running around central park. Running had always been the one thing to calm me, there was a freedom in running that I enjoyed. Because whenever you were running you felt like nothing could stop you, almost like you were flying. Only my mild -or not so mild- un-coordination managed to get me to run into someone. Who was that person. None other than Edward Cullen. It seems that the Gods had decided to pick on me this month. It had been the high point of his calling, he decided to drop by my house a couple of times and know I run into him in the middle of my relaxation run, awesome-note sarcasm.

"Oh my gosh, Bella are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." I huffed.

"How come you don't want to talk anymore? You don't want anything to do with me, you're leaving my hanging by a thread here." He begged wanting to know.

"Back up a little, lets check something. Wasn't it me you didn't want? Ah that would be a YES. Wasn't it me who was hanging on? Once again YES, so I'm _gone_."

"But Bel-" I cut him off.

"Gone, and guess what. You can't do anything about it."

"Bella, how come you haven't answered any of my calls?" He asked quickly so he wouldn't get interrupted.

"Because you didn't even have the balls to leave a message."

"You still could have called." He tried to reason.

"Yer well I didn't, just like you never did. This is how it feels, when you sit next to the phone and wait for a call that never comes. You're waking up in the middle of the night because you miss someone. This is how it feels when the trust you had is broken, and your left to burn with your heart wide open."

"What do you want to hear from me Bella? What do you want me to say?" He asked.

"When you know the answer to that, come get me." I answered and ran off to finish the rest of my jog.

**EPOV:**

Two and a half months this has been going on. Two and a half. Whenever I would run into Bella, it would start with hope, halfway through the conversation guilt, and the end of the conversations, disappointment that I couldn't make her understand. It was the same thing over and over. A constant procedure of me hoping and that hope getting crushed. But it won't stop me from trying, so I am having one last attempt at getting her to listen, all I have to do is walk into Starbucks.

_C'mon you very unmanly man walk in there_; my subconscious screamed. I needed to see a psych I was going mental. nevertheless I sighed heavily and walked in.

"Welcome to Starbucks mt name is Bella what can I...oh, it's just you. You want the regular?"

"No, I want a conversation that doesn't involve you screaming at me." I said quietly. I cringed and prepared for the yelling, and I wasn't disappointed.

"Excuse me! How dare you!" She screeched.

"Tell me what I have to do?" I asked, well more begged but you get the point.

"How about you tell me this, _why_ and _how_, did you have the heart to f**k up my whole life." Bella asked bluntly

"I didn't do it on purpose." I replied solemnly

"That's just so you. It's never your fault or if it is, it's only an accident." She ranted.

"You have to forgive me, I really didn't mean it." I said sincerely.

"No I don't have to, and maybe I won't, I'll just forget that you exist, and I hope it'll hurt." She whispered menacingly. The intensity of her eyes made it hard for me to look at her.

"Of course it'll hurt, like a bullet to the heart. Why do you want to do that? Won't it hurt you to?"

"Nope, not anymore because when I'm sad, I'll think back to whenever something happened and it was me you tried to blame. Or when I hesitate I'll remember it was me you threw away." She sniffed.

"I'll have coffee, scorching hot, no milk, no sugar, completely black in a cup." She quickly poured it and thrust it into my hand.

"Here is your coffee, now you can leave." She said with a glare. "Oh and remember what I said...This is how it feels, when you sit next to the phone and wait for a call that never comes. You're waking up in the middle of the night because you miss someone. This is how it feels when the trust you had is broken, and your left to burn with your heart wide open." She repeated from a week ago.

I knew how it felt, she didn't have to keep reminding me. It felt like the pain you get on you bare skin, when hail hits it. It feels like the pain you get in you chest when your winded, it wasn't a good feeling and I wanted it gone.

"Thanks." I mumbled and walked into a booth towards the back.

* * *

"Jasper what do I do?" I asked pacing back and forth.

"You're over thinking this so much, put it into context and you'll find it fairly simple as to what she wants." Jasper said while flipping the channels.

"Oh really so you know what she wants." I remarked.

"Yep." He stated simply.

"Then tell me."

"Oh no, You're doing this one alone buddy." He laughed and continued flipping channels.

**BPOV:**

"Alice, he won't leave me alone." I whined as I put a lid on yet another espresso.

"He's not here now." She comforted.

"Here you go sir." I handed the man her drink. "Oh yes he is...how can I help you?"

"Where." She whispered looking around.

"I'd like a caramel macchiatto." Replied the woman.

"That all?" I asked the woman.

"Yes."

"One moment." I smiled. "Ugh..he's in the booth at the back." I whispered as I walked past.

"No way!" Alice exclaimed spinning around.

"Yep." I answered exhausted. "Here you are mam."

"Oh..that is so cute." Alice gushed.

"Bella, Alice your off, Jessica and Angela are here." Our boss called.

"Yeah." I fist pumped the air. "Lets ditch this joint."

"I'm driving." Alice said as we hung up our aprons. "We need to talk."

"Ugh...great." I sighed and hopped into the passenger seat.

"He is crawling on his knees begging for forgiveness, Why can't you give it to him?" She asked getting straight to the point.

"Because, he doesn't deserve it." I answered.

"What did he even do, I don't' even remember Bella, I don't even remember why you broke up, just that you did." Alice shook her head and mumbled something I couldn't' hear.

"Well, I think we were fading, we just stopped being 'together' and I tried to bring us back, I guess and he wouldn't let me, he just left." I sighed.

"So freaking what! He's a guy, it's what they do. They are never in the moment, they have the worst timing, but something bad we'll happen and they'll realise it and come back to do the sweetest possible thing. If guys had perfect timing, and were always in the moment, we'd lose interest. Bad timing in a way is why we love guys they do something but they always fix it...always, so let him fix it." She chastised.

"NO!" I stated bluntly.

"You're a stubborn ass." Alice said as she pulled outside my house.

"Whatever." I shrugged, "Talk to you later."

**EPOV:**

_Hi you've reach Bella, I'm either busy or don't feel like talking to you so leave a message. Beep!_

"Bella, it's ah, it's Edward, I know what you want me to say. But ah, I need to say it in person so ah, call me, please..bye." I sighed and hung up.

What I was trying to do what hopeless. It was going to be a lost cause. I knew that, but for once, I was being a man..of some sort.

_Here I am with all my heart I hope you understand_

"Oh my God." I froze.

_I know I let you down but I'm never gonna make that mistake again_

"Jasper." I yelled shaking.

_You brought me closer to who I really am come take my hand_

"Answer it, or you'll regret it." He shouted.

_I want the world to see what you mean to me-_

"Hello?" I breathed.

"Holy Crap, you answered." She teased.

"Ha, funny, so were do you want to meet?" I asked.

"Outside my work." She replied. "See you there." All I heard after that was dial tone.

"Bye."

* * *

"Make this quick Cullen." She snapped.

"I know you hate me and you will most likely never forgive me but, I won't give up on you." I started, "Because the other day I realised, that I didn't even know what happened in the first place. You kept saying that thing to me this is how it feels or whatever, and you were talking about trust. So I figure, if you can't forgive me I could earn back your trust."

She didn't say a word, She only stood there arms folded across her chest and glared.

"Look Bella, I love you whether you love me back or not." I told her. "Tell me, what exactly did happen?"

"You taught me how to hate you, and I was so in love. When I tried to save us it wasn't enough." She shouted, "So what the hell is different? Why is it now that I am gone you're crawling back to tell me I'm the one?"

"I don't want you to be gone. I don't even know why you left." I shouted back.

"I'm GONE!" She screamed and started off in the other direction.

"Well whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry." I yelled at her. She stopped in her tracks.

"What did you say." She whispered.

"Whatever I did to make you hate me, I'm _so_ sorry, I would never intentionally hurt you."

"Well, sorry isn't enough anymore."

"Why?" I asked.

"You only want me because you can't have me. You only want me because I'm gone." She sighed and walked away.

**BPOV:**

"Boo." I shouted and threw my Chinese at the television.

_knock knock_

"Go away." I mumbled.

"I'm not leaving until you let me in." Alice shouted harshly through the door.

"Whatever." I got up of the couch and opened the door. "Hi."

"What did you do to me brother?" Alice spat.

"Pardon?"

"Edward. What did you do to him?" She repeated.

"Nothing, I didn't do anything to him."

"Then why won't he talk to anybody, not even his own sister. He has locked everyone out of his house and he just sits there, he hasn't shaved for a week, do you know what he looks like? One of the freaking Beetles." She stressed.

"I don't know Alice, I don't know."

Alice calmed from her outburst and looked around. Her face went from stressed to disgusted to humorous to stressed. It was like a roller coaster.

"Eww, you place is disgusting, and I thought Edward was bad. At least he can function." Alice smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean." I asked picking up my Chinese.

"When was the last time you showered? And cleaned?" She said wrinkling her nose.

"Ah, I showered yesterday and I don't clean anymore." I retreated back to my comfy spot on the couch and stretched out.

"You two are hopeless, you're worse than a bunch of teenagers." She complained.

"Awesome." I laughed giving her my thumbs up.

"Bells, I'll be back, I have to do something." She smiled with a glint in her eye.

"I don't want to know." I flicked back to my mushy soap operas and turned up the volume.

**APOV:**

"Listen up everyone!" I called gaining everyone's attention, "I'm calling an intervention, a big one. Our friends are stubborn and childish and quite frankly it's pissing me off. So we have to do something."

"Got something in mind Al?" Emmett asked.

"I most certainly do, were doing this 'Failure to Launch' style." I smiled.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Failure to Launch? It's a chick flick...There's this one part at the end were they lock the guy and girl in a room until they work out there problems."

"So you want us to get Edward.." Emmett Began. ".._And_ Bella, in the same room, and lock them in it?"

"Until they work out there problems?" Jasper said, or rather asked.

"Yes."

"How?" Emmett asked.

"Well, I'm going to need help. Why can't you have a girlfriend?" I asked jokingly.

"He does." Said a female voice behind me.

I spun around and was confronted with a very familiar head of hair.

"Rosalie Hale?" I asked taking a step closer.

"Yes?" She asked.

"It's Alice...Alice-"

"Cullen." She cut me off.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" I asked, "Last time I saw you, you were headed of to Cally."

"I'm Emmett's girl." She stated.

"Holy Cow, what are the odds." I laughed.

"Slim to nothing." She shrugged.

"How much of that conversation did you hear?" I asked.

"All of it." She smirked.

"Wanna help?"

"Hell yeah." She nodded. "You're gunna need me."

**BPOV:**

"Bella, get your ass up and open that door." Alice screamed at me. "Emmett actually got himself a girlfriend and we are going to meet her."

"Cool." I jumped of the couch and walked to the door. "Only if I can go in what I'm wearing."

"Anyone asks, I work at Composure and you're my before and after piece." I told her.

"Deal."

* * *

"She's in there go get her for me." Alice said pointing to the basement.

"Why is she in there?" I asked.

"We were all in there before, having drinks." Alice explained.

"Okay." I shrugged and opened the door. The light was already on so I made my way down the stairs. "Hello?"

I heard someone say 'you'll thank me for this' and the door above me closed.

"Shit!" I exclaimed.

"Tell me about it."

"Edward? Is that you? Where are you?" I asked.

"In the corner." He mumbled.

I turned in place to find Edward tied up in a chair.

"Why'd they tie you up?" I wondered aloud.

"Something about closure, Alice is always right, and a movie called 'Failure to Launch'. He explained.

"Cliche much." I said to myself. "Well at least they didn't tape your mouth."

"I'm grateful for that." He sighed.

"Hey knowing you, you would've just bitten it off."

"Yeah, and then chewed off my own foot to get free" He joked.

"Or somehow found a chainsaw." I laughed.

"What happened to us?" Edward asked.

"Honestly, I don't even know." I sighed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." I said and started untying him.

"Can we just.. I don't know..like, start over."

"Start over?" I questioned working at the knot holding his hands together.

"Yeah, like pretend this never happened."

"How are we supposed to do that?" I ducked down and untied his feet.

"Thanks, and it's easy."

"Oh?"

"I just have to do this, Bella Swan, will you go out with me?" He smirked.

"Well that's not cheesy at all."

"Of course not. So?"

"No."

"Wrong answer."

"Maybe."

"You're getting there."

"Yes?"

"That's my girl." He gave me a chaste kiss and somehow managed to get me on his back. "Lets go girl."

"Giddy up, Horsey." I laughed.

He chucked me off his back and gave me a stern look.

"I changed my mind. You are so not nice enough to be my girlfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." He said backing away slowly.

"Oh you better run Edward Cullen."

I started chasing him and he bolted up the stairs "Alice unlock that door right now or I'll tell mum to cut you off." He screamed.

The door came open as fast as lightning and Edward sprinted out the door...

* * *

**This is my first one-shot! It is for Moonlightstudio's Lyrical Contest as I said.**

**Please Review**

**Cheers**

**~Caitlyn~**


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